The morning of April 27, 2018, turned my world upside-down in a heartbeat, no pun intended. At 5 am that morning I received a very frantic and unexpected call. My brother and stepdad informed me that mom had been rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night and was currently undergoing heart surgery. The next 4 hours were an eternity. Every single minute felt like an eternity. Four hours later, I spoke to mom over the phone. She was weak, but talking, and able to move. After a few more tests were performed, and an evaluation from the cardiologist, mom would go home…that same day! I was elated, nauseated, and something else all at once. It truly felt like a bomb of emotions was swirling in my head. I was happy/relieved my mother had survived a heart attack. I was scare of another attack and no one would be there to help her. I knew she would need to make some lifestyle changes, but which ones? My mother had always been active. This woman would get up at 5 am and her day ended between 10-12 pm. If you needed something, she was there…food, money, gas, a therapist, pet-sitter..you needed it, she was there. My mother did not know the concept of ‘no” or “impossible”. She was always doing, going. Seriously, she put to shame the energizer bunny.
From May to July 2018, my mom spent a great deal of time in and out of hospitals or clinics. She had a battery of tests performed, pet-scans, MRIs, etc. to no avail. Her blood work indicated a problem, but nothing seemed to offer a solution. After talking to several specialists, she was sent to a couple of oncologists. Upon having an emergency procedure done, the dreaded diagnosis came….CANCER…METASTATIC OVARIAN cancer stage 4. How on earth could this be happening? What? Impossible! My mother never had any symptoms of being sick. She was always going. She would have an occasional cold, and had to watch her diabetes; however, my mother never had any other symptoms, ever! I truly felt like someone had just dumped a million buckets of freezing water. It took me several days to wrap my head around that diagnosis. We had seen mom just that Christmas holiday. She was happy, full of energy, full throttle, and with a plethora of plans for the farm. The week before the heart attack, she rescued 5 horses and several pigs practically by herself. I spoke to her doctors. I review her labs. Went back to the doctors. I could not accept her diagnosis. The reality was, it didn’t matter if I did or did not. My mother had cancer, and that bully was eating her alive. She had to be more aggressive than ever and fight like there was no tomorrow. She needed our strength and support to fight. Mom started rounds of aggressive chemo every three weeks, followed by scans, then surgical procedures (as needed). There was no guarantee of the chemo or procedures working but they were offering her the best option. I never thought that one day I would be thankful for a heart attack. If my mother had not had her heart attack, my mother would have been dead in a matter of months. Ovarian cancer is one of the most aggressive forms of cancer a woman can have. Worse, the symptoms (if you can call them that) are mild or mimic other diseases. They may just appear as an extended cold or exhaustion from the flu. Seriously, name a woman who is not exhausted from daily life?
My mother fought valiantly. I have no doubt in my mind that she fought whole heartily until the end. I am proud of her determination to fight until it was absolutely impossible to do so. I am proud of the woman she was, and the legacy she left behind. I hope to one day do as much as she has done and accomplish in her brief life!
To all the women out there fighting this cancer bully, know that you are not alone, and that you are in my prayers. There are a lot of support groups ready to step in and help with daily routine things to driving to medical appointments. I hope you the beat this monster. Stay strong, positive, keep researching and do not give up. You have so much to give and live.